Tonight, tonight.

Tonight.. I felt strongerInside of your wingsIt takes alot to get homebut its ok when the light is always on.
Tonight was the last night Im going to see and or talk to Tori for a month. As selfish as it may sound, I half wish she wasn't going to Paris. It'll be a great opertunity for her though, so Im happy for her. Happy and sad at the same time.
It seems lately that everyones falling apart. We're growing up and away from our clusters of friends, waiting to spread our wings and face our next challenges. Its times like these that I realise how fast I'm truely growing up. Next year is the last year of highschool- possibly the last year I'll ever see my current friends in a group again. We'll all move apart going our own ways to acheive our goals- and I don't think I'm ready for it yet. I don't think I've lived enough yet, and Im begining to recognize how aged I'm becoming.
It sounds stupid I'm sure- but as of now, at age 16, I feel like my times winding down to a halt. Odds are, im 1/5th done my existance on this planet, our massive spinning ball of dirt. Once my birthday hits in July, it'll be my last year before I'm considered an adult. An adult! That scares the hell out of me. I remeber being younger, thinking how old the 13 year olds were. Gods sake, I've aged. I'll look back next year and realise how small I am now, writing this, just like when I remeber when I was 15, how niave and young I was. How am I going to feel later on in life? 20 seems like a terrifying age right now! To make matters worse, I don't think I've truely lived yet either. This is going to be my last year being aloud to goof off- and I plan to.
This summer, I plan on having what I call my "Teenage Summer". Filled with steryotyped things of youth, all for the sakes of saying I did them. Temporarily dying my hair purple (wash out dye, but still). Running down the beach at 3am. Bonfires. Sleeping under the stars. Going on a picnic. Hell, I want to live- its my only chance! I cant do something like that in 10 years- its now or never.
4am and I'm up rambling. What the hell do I know.