Thursday, June 28, 2007

Ghost stories and nosebleeds

Around 24 hours ago, I was in a good place. Or I think I was. Wriggled up on a bed in a dorm room, with around 16 other people, talking about everything and anything thtat popped into our heads. The thunder and lightning was intense as Shawn and Penny told ghost stories, and the giggles and mix ups were superb during chinese telephone ("I want your grandmother to dunk her balls in my oriental salad"), the dumb nicknames ("Youre such a bum touch/ crotch sock/ dill hole/ mosseknuckle/ flum de slutnutch"). Nights like this should happen more often. That is what the teenage summer is all about.
I think the teenage summer needs to get back on track- I want my purple hair, my beach days- hell, I want my friends. My real friends. I want stupid jokes back. I want another 10 pm subway run with dirty jokes over everyones sub. I want to rewind and live it again.
Ok, so the teenage summer plan has no rule saying everything has to be perverted, but when you meet a group of strangers, all the same things in common and interest, you feel at home. For the last 4, 5 days, those people were my home. The only thing I fear, besides Pennys ghost stories, is that I may have pushed one of the people, wh o I consider one of the most important people there, and currently I think in my life, away. I'm not ready to let go.
My nose is bleeding for the first time in ages- a cause of thinking to hard and scratching at an itch too long. I remeber the days wheen the biggest worry you had was a nose bleed- now its more about friendships. I test mine a little, but apparently not enough. I want to make sure who Im with is there to stay. And the people I want to stay, arent always staying lately. I just don't feel ready to move on.
Shawn says that ghosts are just energies left over, trying to find a way to move on. But in all reality, isnt that all we are, alive?

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